I’ve got an employee whose former employer is a ranking member of the Senate. 

On how his story went, his salary was often left unpaid, sometimes for three, four months at a time and he was left to languish. Worse, he was expected to report to work every day without fail and would sometimes go weeks without seeing his family because it just so happened that it had miraculously become a part of his job description to accompany his employer on trips. 

He kept from requesting his salary out of fear, but when hunger would seize him by the throat and have him bend the knee to ask, the employer would express disbelief, immediately summon his chief of staff, question why the salary of this man hadn’t been dispensed and make a spectacle by raising his voice and threatening. 

It is my chief of staff’s fault, he would always explain. I make sure to hand the income of all my workers to him so he can disburse at the beginning of the month. I don’t know why the stupid man keeps acting this way.

Yes, sah. 

Yet for all of these claims, it was quite a curious thing that on no occasion did he ever receive his entire salary. It was only a fraction at best. Which makes it very likely that the whole expression of deep disbelief, the summoning and questioning of the chief of staff and the subsequent verbal lashing was all an act. Like politicians are used to. 

Because why, after all of that show of anger, would only a fraction of the salary be released? 

Or was the chief of staff so secure in his position that he could simply choose to insubordinate his principal even after getting a clear order to disburse payment? 

__________

Prior to when I began to observe the patterns of big corporations and the wealthy in general, it was my desire, if I ever decided to work for anyone, to work for them. Because in my young, naïve mind, they had the money, so they were more likely to pay more, pay on time and never owe. 

Similarly, in my young, naïve mind I assumed that all workers of big men and big corporations lived better because they earned more, earned (their due) on time and were never owed. I couldn’t understand why a lot left. 

Until I began to observe a pattern. 

I’mma just caught to the chase: I do not know of other countries or other climes, but in this Naija, you have a better chance living better, getting paid and getting paid on time by a person of modest means than you do at the hands of the wealthy ones you so bloody wanna work for. 

It seems to be a thing with those who have – and this appears to be somewhat psychological – how it increasingly becomes harder for them to release funds, regardless of how much they have at their disposal. It is much the same way people with dwindling/limited resources are more likely to pay their bills quicker, because they would rather not have an extra thing weigh on their minds. As opposed to those who have lots of funds and are too secure in that fact to be bothered with having one extra ‘bother’. 

This is likely why your employer who, apart from being a galactic asshole, isn’t paying you your tiny shit even when you see him tearing one tear rubber motor car after another and taking his family out on transnational vacations. Or spending two hundred million to buy drinks for his village party when he’s owing two dozen workers less than twenty-five ems. 

This article won’t get you your owed salary any quicker. If anything, it’ll make you madder which probably serves you right because when I was asking your ass to come work for tiimbooktu.com all through last year, you were running to the big oil man with your suit and tie. Now big oil man don sama you, pour your eye pepper. Werey. 

Good for you.

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