In your walk with God, the beginning days are what I call the Hippie Days. The Hippie Days are days when you get given whatever you ask for. 

Christianity is interesting. It is sweet, in fact, too sweet, and you wonder why a lot more people aren’t Christians because, clearly, you see firsthand the hand of God. You see God answer prayers. You probably start going to church more, and though, you don’t necessarily do, you establish a fellowship with God and become more fervent in your Christian journey. Because the Lord is good. Because He’s been good. 

Then the Hippie Days come to an end. And there come the storms. 

Storms might vary. It might be you in dire need of something. A spouse. A promotion. Healing from an ailment. Wealth. A change of status. 

You are sure God will answer. Why, he always has. 

You pray. Nothing. You add fasting to the prayers. Nothing. Things begin to change, but for the worse. You kabash, cast and bind. Nada. In fact, your intensity soars. Nothing. Okay, maybe you’re not doing it right, so you call on people to join you; to intercede. Nothing. Then a thought creeps in: When I was in the world and not taking this shit serious, God always answered. Now that I’m deep in fellowship, he’s now not answering. Hmm.  

There’s the temptation to just give up and go back to the world. 

This is a critical point in your Christian journey. I’ll tell you why, but not now. Just keep reading.

Two things I have come to understand in my Christian journey is that one, you are not meant to remain a toddler and two, none of God’s blessings are meant to not teach.

I’ll explain. 

When a toddler asks for something. He gets given. But for how long? Good parents know, regardless of the vastness of their ability to provide, that constant gifts upon request enables uselessness in the long run. It’s much the same with God. 

He constantly gave when you were a baby. He knows that you should not continue to be a baby, that in the thick of storms, you are likely not to last. He knows that the bedrock of your fellowship with Him should not be the gifts he gives, but your entire submission to, and your faith in Him to get things done based on what He has done. 

He knows that there wouldn’t be a reason to grow in him and have a certain measure of faith if your expectations were always met when you wanted them to. Which is why He always provided, to reinforce your trust in him that he could. To nurture perseverance. To build patience. To cultivate the parts of you you would need when real battles come. 

Those blessings, therefore, weren’t just blessings, but lessons you probably didn’t know you were being taught.

The wise ones learn. They remember and hold on to his promises. They’re like, If he answered before, he can answer again. The less than wise ones give in to the temptation to accuse God, call him a liar and probably backslide. Which, really, is tragic because your loss of faith in him meant that you learnt nothing and still expected to remain a baby. And all that craziness? All those threats that you would backslide? Wouldn’t make him answer you.

I ran with horses at the start of 2024. I probably did more in the first quarter than I had done in an entire year. The second quarter was a little slow, but I picked up the pace and did even more. But the second half? Shit, that was a nightmare.

I honestly don’t remember being broke, but I did. I went hella broke. When I prayed and got nothing in return for all the trouble, I guess it dawned on me at some point that, one, the purpose of my prayers was to get the gifts, not to know the giver. When I focused on him, it didn’t get me my answers any quicker, because God can’t be flattered into giving you what you should wait for. 

I am an impatient man. I learnt patience. My attention span is short. I learnt focus and perseverance. I could be quite apathetic. I learnt intensity. By the time I had gotten half the things I asked for, I had learnt so much that I had become a new man altogether, stronger and better suited to handle what was given me. And better, I discovered that if I hadn’t grown, both in Him and personally, I probably could’ve kept on doubting Him, blaming Him on his inability to answer when all he needed from me was to stop being a baby. 

The Walk and the Silence is that wilderness period in your life that you’re probably passing through right now. And I think a question you should ask yourself is whether all there is to the silence you’re getting right now is your continued growth through fellowship with [and in] him or merely expectations based on gifts you think you can handle, but really can’t. 

Now, can I hear a “Ride on pastor”?